Is it my OWN Decision?

As you all probably know, all Israelis (yes, girls as well) have to serve in the army after high school. However, I personally (along with a small but growing percentage of the Israeli society) decided not to obey this law, and not to go to the army. There is handful of reasons for this decision, which I will probably discuss in another post, but right now I would like to look at another aspect of the whole issue.

As I made this decision quite a long time ago, when I was quite young, I’m wondering now what brought me to make the decision. How much of it is really my own reflection upon the situation, and how much of it is affected by my family (extremely radical leftist one), my education (special schools such as art high-school, muwci etc.), the environment I live in (Tel-Aviv the big and liberal city) and more.

I remember one conversation I had with a few people at MUWCI at the beginning of last year, which became a hot political argument concerning the Israeli-Arab conflict. At some point my co-year got really angry and walked away. Later on when we talked only the two f us she ‘accused’ me of not really seeing ‘the other side’ and presenting very one-sided view, which is anyway not really my own.

Of course most of my political ideas are not genuine. I’m not experienced enough and I don’t have enough knowledge to make up my own arguments about those issues that are talked about so much.

Of course I am affected by my surroundings, even designed by my surroundings. You cannot disconnect yourself from the outside world. You are always exposed to different stimulus.

However, I don’t think that each one of us is a complete reflection of his family, community or group of friends. You can find many examples of people who grow up to believe in completely different views than their family and whole environment. Growing up, I started to reflect upon what I constantly hear around me. I was also exposed to different opinions at school, the media etc. However, some things I decided to adopt as my own opinions, and some others not.

I could choose to go to the army. That what my school told me is right to do. My family would have respected my decision. Not to mention how much easier it would be not to cope with the society reactions to whoever doesn’t serve in the army. I had all the reasons to go, and all the reasons not to and I made up my mind, after many internal thoughts and external discussions. I do believe that this makes it my own genuine decision, as t make any of my opinions genuinely my own.

However, one may claim that what brought me to make that final decision are those external stimuli at younger age, when I wasn’t yet able to reflect and debate, or that there are many more factors affecting me that I’m not fully aware of.

I think here it is a matter of what I choose to believe in. Maybe it just makes me feel better to think I’m able to make decisions that are really my own…